Ally Kennen Reads an Extract from The Everything Machine Transcript
Hello my name is Ally Kennen and I’ve written this book called The Everything Machine.
Olly is eleven years old and he desperately wants some rabbits so he secretly buys a giant rabbit hutch on eBay and there’s a mix up and he gets the wrong delivery. Inside the crate there’s a massive state of the art, Roscosmos, NASA, British Aerospace, Internationally cutting edge, 3D printer. It can make absolutely anything. It also talks and appears to have a mind of its own. Olly and his sibling Stevie and Bird set out on a massive printing spree making anything and everything they want from endless sweets, of course, to a secret swimming pool, not that it stays secret for very long because fairly soon Olly’s whole class have come round to try it out. They end up printing the thing they most desperately want, which is a life-size, walking, talking, replica of their dad. But this dad, in trying to behave like a real dad, gets things very, very, VERY wrong.
So I’m going to read an extract from The Everything Machine where Bird, Olly’s sister, finds out about it.
“Wow, what a beast!” Bird stood before Russell and her eyes grew round and shiny. “What is it? NO, don’t tell me. Let me guess.” She walked slowly round the machine. She eyed the scan pad. Then she went on to her tiptoes to examine the hoppers. A slow smile spread over her face.
“Oh, ho, ho,” she said. I think she’d forgotten we were even here. “Hellooo, baby.”
Me and Stevie swapped pained looks. We didn’t think Russell would like being called “baby”. I was expecting him to say something. He was switched on after all. “PROPERTY OF THE MOD,” read Bird. She shot me a look. “DO NOT TAMPER.”
She ran her finger over the production plate and examined the pink dust left there from the Space Hound.
Then she stood back and folded her arms.
“You’ve got a 3D printer. But I’ve never heard of anything as elaborate as this. Where did you get it? Does it function? Does Mum know?”
I quickly explained that it had been delivered by mistake and that, no, Mum most definitely did NOT know about it.
“The owners will be looking for it,” said Bird. “Something like this must cost hundreds and thousands and billions of pounds. We’re probably being hunted by the army. Any minute a Special-Ops team will drop down on ropes from military helicopters and we’ll be airlifted away and slammed into army prisons.” Bird grinned. “So shall we try and build something first?”
“We already have,” I said, desperate to claw back control. Stevie drew out his Space Hound.
“Hmm,” said Bird, taking it from him. “You can 50 print anything in the world and you make a toy? Where’s your vision? Why didn’t you use the simple animatronics function?”
“We’re planning to make something very BIG next,” I lied bravely. “Something amazing.”
“Like what?” Bird grinned. “A violin? A prefabricated house? A kidney?”
“A kidney?” Stevie made a puking noise into his hand. “Gross, gross, gross. I was planning on making some new Lego.”
“Oh, that’s stale,” said Bird. “This is an extremely special machine. I think we can try something a bit more interesting than Lego.”
“Like what?” I asked.