Jeff Kinney Interviews Diary of a Wimpy Kid Star Greg Heffley

Jeff Kinney Interviews Diary of a Wimpy Kid Star Greg Heffley

Jeff Kinney: You’ve always said you wanted to be rich and famous. How’s that working out so far?

Greg Heffley: The famous part is working out pretty good, but somebody printed a few million copies of my journals and I haven’t seen a dime. Somebody’s making money here, and it isn’t me. I’ve got my lawyers working on it.

Jeff : What’s it like having your own float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?

Greg : First of all, it’s a giant helium balloon, not a float. There’s a difference. I was happy about the whole idea until I found out my nose would be a few feet from Kermit the Frog’s rear end. Next year either my balloon’s up front or I’m gonna pop it.

Jeff : What do you think of middle school so far?

Greg : It’s all right, but I feel like I’ve been in middle school for, like, seven years.

Jeff : How much longer do you think people will be interested in reading about your life?

Greg : There are, like, what, 200 Baby-sitters Club books? I’ve barely gotten started.

Jeff : What’s next for you?

Greg : I’ve been talking to my people about expanding my brand. Next step is reality TV—and I’m launching a personal fragrance in the third quarter of next year.

Jeff : What’s your dream product?

Greg : My own Ben and Jerry’s flavour: Dairy of a Wimpy Kid.

Jeff : Is there any merchandise you won’t agree to?

Greg : My agent came to me with a proposal for Wimpy Kid–branded swim nappies. Once you go down-market, it’s hard to go back up.

Jeff : You’re almost out of colours for your book covers. What are you going to do next?

Greg : I’m thinking metallics, denim — different materials. Book 20 will glow in the dark, if we can get the costs down.

Jeff : Do you feel like you’re the master of your own destiny, or does it seem like there’s a 43-year-old man making all of your life’s decisions?

Greg : Alright, this is getting a little weird. This interview is over.