Exclusive! Frank Cottrell Boyce Interviews Sputnik

Exclusive! Frank Cottrell Boyce Interviews Sputnik

Frank: Sputnik you’ve only just arrived on Earth. What do you make of it so far?

Sputnik:I’m loving the gravity. Really helpful when you need a sit down.

Frank: I know a lot of people make the mistake of thinking you’re a dog. How do you feel about that?

Sputnik: Dogs and humans share ninety nine percent of their DNA so it’s an easy mistake to make.

Frank: Have you sampled the local food here on Earth. What do you think of it?

Sputnik: I was told that everything on Earth was edible so I really tried everything. I have tried eating cars, cows and party dresses. I was going to try eggs but got confused about whether the egg was inside the chicken or the chicken was inside the egg. I hear great things about fish and chips.

Frank: Do you have a favourite colour?

Sputnik: Is Light Sabre a colour? I love Light Sabres. I love the way they set fire to people’s hair.

Frank:Do you have a favourite gadget?

Sputnik: Reverse Dynamite. It’s my own invention. Instead of blowing things up it blows them back together again. I totally blew Hadrian’s Wall back up.

Frank: What’s your idea of a perfect weekend.

Sputnik: I once turbo-charged a stair lift and sent a pensioner into orbit. That was fun. I could do that all day.

Frank: I know you’ve driven a tractor at the speed of light and a bus on the wrong side of the road, what’s your favourite vehicle?

Sputnik: My favourite vehicle is planet Earth. I love the way it spins round and round as it whizzes through space and yet all that water doesn’t fall off. How do they do that? Is there some kind of ocean glue?